Everything Is Green and Submarine

A Giant Real Without An Ity

Wed, 18 Jan 2006 09:29:58 GMT

I know the feeling
It is the real thing
The essence of the truth
The perfect moment,
That golden moment,
I know you feel it too
You can't refuse the embrace...

It's like the pattern below the skin
You gotta reach out and pull it all in
And you feel like you're too close
But
Fuck it
You swallow another dose

The pinnacle of happiness
Filling up your soul
You don't think you can take any more
You never want to let go

To touch the roots of experience,
The most basic ingredients
To see unseen glitter of life
And feel dirt, grief, anger, and strife

Cherish the certainty of now,
Because it kills you a bit at a time
Cradle the inspiration
It will leave you writhing on the floor

This is so unreal
What I feel
This nourishment
Life is bent
Into a shape
I can hold
A twist of fate
All my own
Just grit your teeth
Make no sound
Take a step away
And look around
Just clench your fist
And close your eyes
Look deep inside
Hypnotize
The whisper is
But a shout
That's what it is
All about
Yes, the ecstasy
You can pray,

You will never let it slip away

Like the sacred song that someone sings through you...
Like the flesh so warm that the thorn sticks into...
Like the dream one day you know will come to life...
Try to hold on just a little longer.....stronger

It's the jewel of victory
The chasm of misery
And once you have bitten the core
You will always know the flavour

A split second of divinity
You drink up the sky
All of heaven is in your arms
You know the reason why

It's right there, all by itself
And what you are, there is nothing else
You're growing a life within a life
The lips of wonder kiss you inside

And when it's over the feeling remains
It all comes down to this
The smoke clears, I see what it is
That made me feel this way

This is so unreal
What I feel
Flood and sell your soul
Feel the blood
Pump through your veins
Can't explain
The element
That's everything
Just clench your fist
Close your eyes
Look deep inside
Hypnotize
Yes, the ecstasy
You can pray

YOU WILL NEVER LET IT SLIP AWAY

Like the echoes of your childhood laughter,
Ever after
Like the first time love urged you to take it's guidance,
In silence...
Like your heartbeat when you realize you're dying,
...But you're trying
Like the way you cry for a happy ending...

I know

amazing

Wed, 04 Jan 2006 22:09:11 GMT

The crushing burden of loneliness and isolation finally rolled off my back, the solitude of imagination spills out onto the bed like vultures in heat; theres another like me. onec again i try to close the page beause i dont like where this is gonig, but im just gonna type as i think, and you all can fuckin read what you want. SO long since I was here, so long sinced I've touched a heart of color, so long since ive been rewarded....hopefully, with chaos and punishment, the release of my unclean desires. So many new things I feel approaching, so much impatience finally being set free, can only mean one thing: something is falling off of the table; balance is shifting and welcome. I'll probably be homeless, or maybe ill just get hurt, but regret I've banished from my dominion.

ecstasy, euphoria, power, helplessness, desperation, desire, pain, creation, exploration, domination, the last horsemen are on their way, descendence into rapturous enlightenment begins.

Upon the Instruments of Death, the Sunlight Brighly Gleems

Tue, 22 Nov 2005 04:40:08 GMT

"Call her moonchild
Dancing in the shallows of a river
Lovely moonchild
Dreaming in the shadows
of the willow

Talking to the trees of the
cobweb strange
Sleeping on the steps of a fountain
Waving silver wands to the
night-birds song
Waiting for the sun on the mountain

She's a moonchild
Gathering the flowers in a garden
Lovely moonchild
Drifting in the echoes of the hours

Sailing on the wind
in a milk white gown
Dropping circle stones on a sun dial
Playing hide and seek
with the ghosts of dawn
Waiting for a smile from a sun child"

circa 1969

Tue, 01 Nov 2005 03:50:52 GMT

Orgy of silence, conspiracy of peace.
Only the sound of the cold northern breeze.
Twinsun sink fading behind the black lake.
Asleep is the mountains, yet the night is awake.

Strange is the night. Now black stars rise.
And many Moons circle through silent the night.

Along the black mountainside, scattered
by the campfires awaiting the dawn.
Two times a hundred men in battles.
Tried by the steel in the arrow, axe and the sword.

By battle worn, hunger torn, awaiting
for the Sun to break through the cold haze
and for the banners of Ebal to appear
on the hill in the Sun's first warm rays.

The elder among the men looked deep into
the fire and spoke loud with pride.
Tomorrow is a fine day to die.

Now the morning advance from far East.
Now the Sun breaks through dustclouds and haze.
Now a forest of spears appears on the hill
and steel shines bright in the Sun's first rays.

Die.
Die.
Die.

- Quorthon

Hope You Can See This

Mon, 24 Oct 2005 06:47:52 GMT

Yes, we have the audio,
Amassing barriers,
I oughtta know,
For I've taken pulls until it's aerial,
And yes, contest with the best monetary order,
You get the daughter.
You can murder it,
If you've heard of it,
Or you've purchased it in the showroom
But that's not part of it
Or at least not part of the book 'cuz i've read it
And as for the film, I have seen it,
Oh and i mean it.
I am the prodigal son of involuntary order
or shit, I taught 'em...
On a strange man, from a strange land,
Near japan trots a dog of war
Who is sorting overzealous razorwire wristbands
And he's the bees knees.
And if he sneezed, please, oversee this slight oversight for which he'll fight,
Granted tonight's the night.
And if you feel it, well then, alright,

Conceptual continuity,
Driven stewardly.
I'm through with thee.
My focus on the parody is new to me.
You're digging holes like you've forgotten how to swim,
And taking orders like you're my daughter.

I like the night, if you like the night,
I love the night, if there's a general on my right.
Boy what have you become? You've become undone,
and boy I've been there,
A coward in the face of what you stood for,
I'm dirt poor and still I've stood more,
'Cause tonight's the night and if you feel it alright, well,

Would I lie to you?
Yeah I'd like to...
Over and over,
Over and over,
Stand there laughing,
But what for?

Well...

I never eat the stomach, no,
Because you never know,
What's your prey's prey and what's its sign,
Astrological, anatomical, in the name of art,
Hosannah's form,
Lipstick on the collar of a wed man,
Comical...
Mystery travels in pairs,
I ride sidecar
And I love comany
And where is the daybreak from this daterape?
Please step back as i placate;
History's mystery fizzling, sizzling, shimmering, glicering, glistening in the light,
You'll get your rocks off but you can't stop, girl tonight,

Would I lie to you?
Yeah I'd like to...
Over and over,
Over and over,
Stand there laughing,
But what for?

New TMV DVD!!!!

Thu, 13 Oct 2005 15:53:23 GMT

Tuesday, November 8th, The Mars Volta will release scabdates.

scabdates will feature renditions of Volta tracks recorded live over the course of 2003-2005 touring in support of this year's Frances The Mute and 2003's De-Loused In The Comatorium, drawn out to their epic, endurance-defying lengths, making for a 74-minute sampling of the Mars Volta live experience, with packaging featuring the photography of longtime Volta collaborator Danielle Van Ark. Scabdates was assembled, produced and mixed by Omar A Rodriguez-Lopez. All music by Omar A Rodriguez-Lopez, all lyrics by Cedric Bixler Zavala, and performed by The Mars Volta. The track listing for scabdates is as follows:

abrasions mount the timpani
take the veil cerpin taxt
a) gust of mutts
b) and ghosted pouts
caviglia
concertina
haruspex
cicatriz
a) pt I
b) pt II
c) pt III
d) pt IV

Sat, 24 Sep 2005 15:01:14 GMT

deep as the terrible sky
that you fell from
this terrible beauty is born
dethroned
I haunt the saltmines
a living wound
living, breathing wound

deep was the ocean and wide
that I slither from
terrible beauty is born
dethroned
I haunt the saltmines
a living wound
living, breathing wound...

I fucking hate cops, all they are is assholes
I know man, whats the matter?
They just mad cause we get more pussy then they do?
Damn you rabbit, you smell like fuckin piss!
You can kiss my ass!
I hate rabbits...
Fuckin rabbits!! Get his ass!!

* shots fired *

I don't like rabbits comin to my fuckin house I kill'em!
I got him!
No you didn't!
Yes I did!
He looks like a queer rabbit!
That faggot he can kiss my ass!
Wabbits are queers! They always gotta shit on themselves!
Look at the little fag bunny!
Fuckin rabbit! I'm sick and tired of it!
This shitty ass rabbit stinks! He smells like...pussy!
He smells like the asshole! Motherfucker!!
Smells like wetback dick!

HE SMELLS LIKE A BUL-A BULLSHIT!!

Is it dead?
Iont know but I'm bout to make sure.

* more shots fired *

I wonder if hes dead...
Hate fuckin' rabbits...
Wonder if its got any money? Check its pockets.
don't even got that much meat on'em.

Come on lets go man, who gives a shit about rabbits

Just For The Record, Just So You Know

Fri, 09 Sep 2005 18:31:12 GMT

I'm alive and well, none of my shit got fucked up. Boring but unusual mostly-drunken powerless pot search zombie attack week was a nice change from the normal, but I'm glad to see televisions curling people back up into their air-conditioned homes and pretending that their neighbours don't exist. Hope none of you went through too much trouble.

So Heres The Thing

Sat, 27 Aug 2005 07:35:16 GMT

October 3rd, 1995 one of my FAVORITE ALBUMS EEEEVVVVEEEEEEEERRRRR came out, it was Deftones first LP and Major Label debut, Adrenaline. It was the first Deftones album I ever heard and one of the first Rock albums I ever got into, and its still one of the most important to me. Everytime I hear it I think of how hard these guys worked their asses off to get that album done and it turned out so beautiful, how hard they worked to sell it (it sold 200 I hope one day I can pull something like that off.

To mark the 10th Anniversary of this amazing LP, the band is releasing a B-Sides and Rarites CD/DVD compilation. Check it out!

CD:
01 - "Savory" (Jawbox Cover) (Feat. Jonah Matranga of Far/Gratitude)
02 - "Wax And Wane" (Cocteau Twins Cover)
03 - "Change (In the House of Flies) (Acoustic)"
04 - "Simple Man" (Lynyrd Skynyrd Cover)
05 - "Sinatra" (Helmet Cover)
06 - "No Ordinary Love" (Sade Cover) (Feat. Jonah Matranga of Far/Gratitude)
07 - "Teenager" (Idiot Version)
08 - "Crenshaw Punch" / "I'll Throw Rocks At You (Around The Fur B-Side)"
09 - "Black Moon (White Pony B-Side)"
10 - "If Only Tonight We Could Sleep" (The Cure Cover)
11 - "Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want" (The Smiths Cover)
12 - "Digital Bath" (Acoustic)
13 - "The Chauffeur" (Duran Duran Cover)
14 - "Be Quiet And Drive (Far Away)" (Acoustic)
DVD:
01 - "7 Words"
02 - "Bored"
03 - "My Own Summer"
04 - "Be Quiet And Drive (Far Away)"
05 - "Change (In The House Of Flies)"
06 - "Back To School (Mini Maggit)"
07 - "Digital Bath"
08 - "Minerva"
09 - "Hexagram"
10 - "Bloody Cape"
11 - "Engine No. 9" (Live)
12 - "Root" (Live)
"Never-before-seen footage" of the band will be interspersed throughout the aforementioned music videos and the liner notes for the CD portion will feature a track-by-track commentary written by all five band members. You can hear a few of the tracks over here.

Wed, 13 Jul 2005 03:32:42 GMT

Among the tattered dwelling of the new found home, in the furthest cramped corner sat the shell of a goat head strangled in copper wire, scraped of it's insides, unwashed behind the ears, fuming it's crooked names spoken on hinges.
To a thinning cowlick's fat his crippled limp, dragging along the hump of the floor. Sobbing from the smacking mouth of the demagogue wells, making wisecracks, spilling from the corners with their pink flinches, second glancing their every move.
It ate pickled nose cartilage that fell from the ceilings, a porkskin drizzle unnerving the humans, while it read aloud from it's favorite books, in glossylalia slang and hierospecks truths, following a slow and patient wait, a mocking their hair as it was glued to their upper lip combover.
Under the wall, the chips smeared by faithfully talking the magnum fanatics and their bottles of scalp soup.
They cooked up a tardis smudge on their eyes, a lunar antidote that powdered underneath the oncoming pestilence of their idling fingers.
It wrote them a seance, penetrated their every dependant desire.
It hacked off the central headpiece to the collective.
It wrote them a message in the marrow of the knife, with the extension of backward* transfusion.
Glued to the animals, perversions of their former selves, patiently biting their fingernails looking for a clue.
As soon as it failed to appear, the faithful fell under the spell of public execution.
It had been an eternity filled with ritual, and all for nothing, promising salvation, but only flags came swarming around for a better taste.
What was left were the scraps, dressed in animal skin, defiled servants holding their breath, fatherless culprits blaming their kin, waiting for an answer.
They thought the day would come, or a giraffe might choke in midair squeal, some sort of indication.
Only it was the hands of the followers that had left their markings in neatly packed dunes filled with the decapitated remains, found sealed in sand.
It only stained the conscious for a brief moment, then came disgust.
Realizing there was nothing to it, people began collapsing in collective states of drought.
Palm-size vents heating in the chest, cluttering the graph, a bladder full of remains.
Nothing became of them because nothing was the reason, an apathetic display dripping into vats of obesity.
The feud had been sucking teeth for some time now, but the only baggage that paraded about was the curtain epidermis unfolded in an inebriated suit.
The fit came suffocating, feathering the boa-constricted paleness, frostbitten, and shovel-faced.
It came before them in utter confidence, flares of pink owls in the nest of albino eyelids blinking out chemical obscurities to the blind.
It bloomed into a hemmorrhaged contraption that impopulated the disenchanted, one by one.
All the churches were converted into quarantine facilities, inside them grew bacterial stubble compacted by larvae, contracting and teething.
A newborn litter degradively sufficient, running from the horse collarbone, amongst the murmuring femurs wimpering in fractures.
"Are you the polaroid shot you thought you were?", it said with a coy smirk.
With the position now vacant, it waltzed right in and made itself at home.
Seduced by the empty nominations at the altar of broken ballot boxes, closer to that nothingness that everyone seemed to embrace.
As it pissed all over them, the sigh of relief steamed off the soaking depressants, an impending sleep was on it's way.

Actually, This Means Alot To Me If That Means Anything To You

Thu, 16 Jun 2005 20:29:53 GMT

This morning when I awoke from the cushioned coils,
Eyes pouring their little hearts,
It didn't feel normal waking here,
Religiously thinking the same black thoughts.
As always you weren't lying next to me,
with that smirk on your face right then.
Were you giving me the images constantly flickering?
I'll take the advice passed down.
I see you on your side, bad luck.
Starlit nights when I awoke from the cushioned coils,
Eyes pouring their little hearts,
It didn't feel normal.
Nightmares stop reality, thinking the same black thoughts.
And this is the last time I'll be confused or compromise my emotions.

Mon, 13 Jun 2005 15:35:29 GMT

Morning found us calmly unaware
Noon burn gold into our hair
At night, we swim the laughin' sea
When summer's gone
Where will we be

HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!1

Tue, 24 May 2005 03:02:32 GMT

NINE INCH NAILS IS SET TO HEADLINE THIS YEARS VOODOO FESTIVAL!!! HEEEEELLLLL YEAH!!!

I'm Bored So...

Mon, 23 May 2005 21:58:36 GMT

Lately I've been reading alot of lyrics to crazy bands I could never hear. Check this shit out:

"He laid emeralds in her eyes,
oh, but I'd already tried,
a bracelet made of gold
and scarlet thread around her wrist.
and everything was wrong, so we sang sentimental songs,
Oh how seldom we belong, but how elegant our kiss;
and we painted crooked lines, but we danced in perfect time,
to a love so much refined, we know not what it is,
until like a dullen wine we pour into a grief we know before,
but never quite like this, NEVER quite like this.
All I know now is regret, it follows like a silhouette,
along the cobblestone behind me, but she has left nothing to say
except to innocently ask, a voice as delicate as glass,
"Do you see me when we pass?"
but I continue on my way."

- from Norma Jean's "Memphis Will Be Laid To Waste"

"Dear, I'll stay gold just to keep these pasts at bay
To keep the loneliest of the nights from claiming you
and to keep these longest day from waking you
For I felt the greatest of winters coming
and I saw you as seasons shifting from blue to gray
Thats where the coldest of these days await me
and distance lays her heavy head beside me
There I'll stay gold, forever gold"

- Converge, "Concubine"

more later probably

May 21, 2005

Sun, 22 May 2005 15:07:44 GMT

- Best night-that-didn't-involve-a-concert EVER!

Fri, 20 May 2005 15:04:39 GMT

Being at home all day is startign to get to me. I'm so lonely :(, and I feel like I'm going no where. Everyone else always has things to do and I sit here and watch you all grow older. I really should go get a job huh.

The fucking TEAM SLEEP show was last night and i missed it :(. It might have been my only chance too, once Deftones start touring again theres a possibility that Team Sleep will never get back together again. Thats happened with alot of side projects, you know how it is. Bands and artists like them are always busy working on something. Unlike me lol. I was so lonely last night, everyone was either graduating, or at graduation, or partying after graduation. I'mso pathetic hahaha, you're probably all thinking "quit fucking complaining and do something about it then." How come everytime I want to change something it involves waiting?

I hope someone good plays house of blues on my birthday, I can't wait till I'll finally be able to fucking go. As Cities Burn are having their cd release party/show next month in covington....can't fucking wait!! their newer stuff is aweeesoooome, way better then theyre last album, I can't wait to get my hands on a copy. Normally I'd have it already but since they aren't a very big band its really hard to find some of their stuff online.

TGIF though, If I don't spend time with someone soon I'm going to go nuts.I'll probably get to see her agani sometime this weekend too, which mean I'LL ACTUALLY BE HAPPY AGAIN! These past two days have been horse shit on grass crackers. This band is awesome though...first time I ever checked them out.

I lost the point I started with this. Oh well, have a nice day!

BOOOO!

Thu, 19 May 2005 18:25:23 GMT

Some very good reasons why Christians (overbearing, forceful, hardcore right-wing christians at least) need to be burned alive in giant mounds across the the nation in order for our generation to progress any further. These are coming from my good friend Scott's website, and I thought I would share it with most of you. I know it looks like a lot of shit, but thats because Christians are some of the worlds biggest fuck-ups (I sure hope I don't go to Hell for that!). Enjoy the read.

Walking environmental hazard.

The Bible very explicitly explains things. There's not really a lot of room for interpretation of the more general points. Let me review some for you:

God created the world in 7 days and he's so powerful that he could do it again anytime he wants. So there.

God will destroy the world (fairly soon) after first taking all of the good Christians with him up to heaven so they can kiss his ass some more. This will occur after a big war between the Christians and the other people (Armageddon).

The physical world is dirty and bad (that's earth) and the spiritual world is clean and good (that's heaven).

As a result of these three things, Christians do not need to do anything to preserve the environment. You're worried about the future of the humpback whale? Whales don't have souls, silly, so they're not important to God. Besides he can just make more. And besides that, he's going to destroy the world soon so what's the point of saving some silly whales now? Here's a sermon that supports my assertion.

During the cold war, Christians in our government saw the USSR as the nation of Satan, because they had state-imposed atheism. Obviously, then, they were the power that the United States (God's favored country) would have to defeat in the Armageddon. How best to defeat them? Nuclear strike, of course. But wait! That kills everyone on the planet! No problem, God will spirit the Americans away to heaven whilst the Russians are coughing up their innards! Ha-ha! Good triumphs over evil! The missiles of God nuke Satan in one mighty ku-tchunk.

"You're crazy! You're making this up!" you say? Allow me to quote President Ronald Reagan, "Everything is falling into place. It can't be too long now. Ezekiel says that fire and brimstone will be rained upon the enemies of God's people. That must mean they'll be destroyed by nuclear weapons...Gog, the nation that will lead all of the other powers of darkness against Israel, will come out of the north...Gog must be Russia...now that Russia has set itself against God...it fits the description of Gog perfectly." (quote detail)

Is it safe to have these nuts running a nuclear power? You tell me. We worry when radical Muslim groups have nukes. Why aren't we worried about Christians with nukes? Because everyone seems to think the Christians are the good guys. Check your history.

Sexually dysfunctional.

The local Christian student group here at *deleted* Campus Crusade for Christ--has a new theme that they have pinned up all over campus, put on t-shirts and in full-page advertisements in the Maneater. It goes something like this: there is a picture of a man and a woman in full wedding gear, the bride looking over her shoulder in a "wouldn't you like to be me" sort of way...the caption reads, "What to wear for safer sex." Another version (with no illustration) says, "Practice safe sex, wait until marriage and stay faithful."

This is a prime example of the sick thinking typical of Christians. Everyone knows that by simply driving your car you are in greater danger than from having sex. Why don't Christians suggest that we all abstain from driving until we can all afford our very own road? Because that would be stupid...we put on our seat belts and go out onto the streets as if it were perfectly safe. We do this because the only other option is to stay huddled in our houses paralyzed with fear. This is exactly what the Campus Crusaders want you to do.

I have spoken to countless freshmen--male and female--who have been terrified by conservative propaganda into believing that the first time they have sex they will get pregnant and catch AIDS. Provided that you take the normal precautions, this is as silly as the popular misconception of the 70's that you couldn't get pregnant the first time you had sex. What we are seeing here is a reaction to the 70's and early 80's that rivals the stupidity of those decades, but in reverse. The cause is, simply, Christians.

Christian students are by far the most screwed up about these things. I have a few examples. I will start with the Campus Crusaders...

Specimen number one is a very strange girl who lives in the dorms. She has no contact with males on a one-to-one basis. She is completely asexual. Recently, I saw her sporting one of CCC's lovely t-shirts and overheard her discussing the ingenuity of the Crusaders most recent evil plan. If this girl ever mates, I'll be shocked. She has Jesus, you see, so she doesn't need another man.

But wait, there's more. I used to have a friend who was a Crusader...she shall remain nameless. She was obsessed with maintaining her purity. In order to do so, she went so far as to allow one of her boyfriends to try to have anal sex with her because Jesus, apparently, doesn't mind that because it's not "real sex."

I have a good friend who is dating a frat boy who is a Christian. She's not. Although I haven't had an update in a while, the last I checked he would typically have sex with her and then have an attack of guilt, and tell her that they shouldn't do it anymore. Of course they always do it again. We aren't just talking about a little guilt here, we are talking about a major attack with crying and everything. Of course, he would completely dump her if he found out that she's been with a woman...

I have a positive acquaintance from high school who goes to school here...a couple of years ago one of my other high school acquaintances invited him out to her car for sex. So he went, of course, but right after orgasm he began crying and praying to God for forgiveness because what he had done was so "wrong." The poor girl freaked out and started bawling and had to leave him in the car with Jesus. Now he has sworn off sex. They had been dating for years before this happened. It's not like she twisted his arm and made him do it. He's a nut.

I know another person who invited a girl up to his room one evening, and after no more than 15 minutes she was literally begging him to have sex with her...I quote, "Fuck me, don't keep me waiting," that sort of thing. She left a few hours later. He saw her the next day and, lo and behold, she was a Christian and hadn't even slept that night. She had been up the whole time pacing around, crying, feeling guilty for being such a bad person. Her roommate, also a Christian, had given her a lecture about what a slut she was, too. Wait a minute, you Christians out there are saying, "Oh, I bet that poor girl was RAPED and the bad old guy doing it just said that she begged for it so he'd get away with it!" WRONG! The guy heard it, and so did his roommate and his roommate's girlfriend. And the girl never said she didn't want to have sex, or that the guy raped her.

There is nothing wrong with having sex. (Similarly, there is nothing wrong with not having sex, but Americans have no trouble with that one.) Americans have less sex than Europeans yet we have significantly more unintended pregnancies than Europeans. Why is that? Guilt. People feel like they can't carry around condoms because that means you were planning on having sex...you have to be "swept off your feet."

Sex is a natural function and a natural need just like hunger and thirst. If you want to have sex with someone, you should do it no matter if you know them or not. Am I advocating anonymous sex? If that's what you want...go for it! If that's not what you want, don't. Either way, it is not immoral as long as no one is hurt in the process. Incidentally, I am betting that very few people want anonymous, meaningless sex in the first place.

Another one of CCC's little posters makes the claim that if you have sex before marriage, you will get your heart broken. That's only in the case where you are trying to use sex to get love. Satisfy your lust with sex and your love through more appropriate venues...you know what they are.

In the Bible, Paul clearly states that, optimally, you should never have sex ever (Theologian, Christian and editor of the Ryrie Study Bible, Charles Caldwell Ryrie, Th.D, Ph.D, agrees with me on this point about Paul). He says that marriage is only a way to make the sinfulness of sex more diluted. Do you really want to adhere to an ideology that condemns a normal, beautiful part of human life?

Expansionism and prejudice.

Christians feel that they must spread their sick ideology all over the world. In a way, you can think of it as a Christian Empire. The Catholics started it during the Crusades (where they murdered people of foreign lands who would not succumb to their religion) and the Inquisition (where they murdered citizens of their own country who would not succumb). Interestingly, the local Christian group here on campus at --------------- is "Campus Crusade for Christ." Fortunately, they aren't allowed to murder us for not believing in their little religion or we would have quite a body count on our hands...or their hands, rather.

Currently, it is the Mormons who are doing the greatest amount of conquering (by subtle means). Early in the church's history, they would convert foreign women, telling them about the location of Zion (either Missouri or Utah, depending on who you talk to). The women would then be convinced to go to Zion, where, having spent all their money on the trip, they would be sucked into the cultish Mormon doctrine of polygamy (which, although currently not allowed, is allowed "celestially" and will again be allowed after Jesus comes back for the big war).

Close behind them are the Baptists, who spawned Campus Crusade for Christ. I know a girl who is the daughter of Baptist missionaries (Yes, she is a Christian). She likes her boyfriend to beat her up while they have sex (her boyfriend is also a Christian). What a nice psychological problem to export to other nations!

We are currently in the midst of a modern-style inquisition in this country. Take Dr. Elders, for example. She is the woman who was fired from the Surgeon General position for suggesting that we should teach masturbation in sex education classes (as a healthy alternative to having sex with lots of people sans protection when you aren't properly informed about how to protect yourself because you were taught sex via a sexually repressive abstinence only sex education program which has made you paralyzed with guilt over your natural biological needs). And what? You want to legalize soft drugs? God might not give us favored nation status if you do that!

Syracuse has a group called Chi Alpha. Once a week they have what they call "Saturday Evangelism." What do they do? I'll let them tell you:

This is the time when we go out and share our experience in knowing God with the other students on campus. We usually lead about two new people to God each week in this way. We split off in pairs and go about sharing the gospel, while a couple of us stay back in the room and pray for those out sharing. Saturdays, 2:00pm, Strates Room, Hendricks Chapel

I will translate the above into secular/pagan language: This is the time when we go out into the world and try to suck our fellow students into our sick ideology. We go around in pairs badgering people until we find about 2 people who are naive and weak-willed enough to believe everything we say. Usually these people are alone and feeling lonely, and because there are two of us and only one of them it is easy to convince them that what they believe is meaningless and what we believe is right! This makes us feel like we are more correct in believing what we told them. In hopes that it will keep the evil heathens that we are trying to deceive from beating us up for annoying them, we go out in pairs and we have people stay at the chapel and pray for us.

Two-faced ideology.

They say "Thou shall not kill" but that only includes people who are Christians. Followers of Moses had no problem murdering whole cities (including pregnant women--its in the Bible) of non-Christians and the same goes for modern day Christians. I'll be putting up an internet memorial to the victims of Christian atrocities later on, but the numbers are staggering...in the Bible alone, far more people were murdered than in a Nazi's wildest fantasy. During the witch craze in Europe, as many as 9 million (Note from N.: This is an overestimate based on a flawed report made in 1792; A better estimate is around 500,000 between 1500 and 1850) people may have been murdered, mostly after being grotesquely tortured, not to mention the cats that were also tortured and murdered.

How about "the meek shall inherit the earth" ? That's hilarious. They preach that one should be weak and puny, but then feel no remorse over murdering foreign people and expanding their boundaries. "Onward Christian soldiers...."

What about that thing about alcohol? Why is it that Christians are so anti-drinking and drug use when their own idol created wine from water as one of his principle "miracles"? Ryan Will, a Catholic, points out that this is one insane thing that his denomination does not believe (i.e., they believe it is OK to have alcohol). Speaking of Catholics, I keep getting mail from insane Protestants saying that Catholics are cultists. Protestants like the "Freemen" are cultists.

God loves you. Ya, right. He just wants people to kiss his ass. If you don't brown-nose adequately, he will throw your soul into a burning lake. What a power-hungry jerk! Now, if there was such a master of the universe, I would pretend to worship him quietly and then kick his ass at the first opportunity. Isn't that what Lucifer did? By the way, the Christian excuse for why God created humans is that the angels had no choice but to worship him, so he wanted to create little beings that would worship him by choice. Ponder that for a few moments. Point being, Lucifer is the great hero of the mythos of the Bible. God is an evil beast, or an evil dictator at best.

Create and feed on fear.

The entire basis of Christianity is fear. You fear death, and so they offer you a nice place called "heaven" where your "soul" goes when you die. "You don't really die," they coo in your ear sweetly, "If you accept Jesus into your heart, you can live Forever!" So wait a minute, I don't automatically live forever! Uh-oh! What's this bargain I have to make? Well, I just have to live according to His rules, blah blah blah. But (because there is no He) what I end up doing is living my life in self-deception surrounded by others who are deluding themselves in order to feel good, too. And I miss out on many aspects of life...hey wait, wasn't that what I was worried about losing in the first place? Hey but that's not all. Now we know that your "soul" goes to heaven if you follow their little rules...what happens if you don't? Well, you soul will be thrown into a "dark, unspeakable place" and you will burn forever in a "lake of fire." Hey! Where I come from, that's a threat! Or, in other words, motivating your opponent with FEAR. Where I come from, that's considered to be rude.

Now they are feeding on your fear of AIDS. Yes, AIDS is something to be afraid of, but they have labeled it as "God's punishment for those who disobey His Law." What happened to the lake of fire? There never was any lake of fire. They didn't generate enough fear with the Hell fairy tale so they have to latch on to some real-world evil and say that it came from God. (Why would God send evil on those he loves?) Don't go out and have sex, now! Nothing will save you from God's hideous wrath! Just from having sex once, even if it's your virgin boyfriend, you'll develop hideous sores, your organs will liquefy and your brain will ooze out your nose! That's what you get for being bad!

What else are you afraid of? You're afraid of being a bad person. You want you life to be justifiable and good. You want to look back on your life when you are 70 and say, "Hey, I was a good person." Christianity makes this easy for you. All you have to do is believe in Jesus! Wow! You believe in Jesus? You must be a good person. Those other people who don't believe in Jesus, they're bad people. I have news for you: Jesus was a bigoted, power-hungry jerk.

Completely insane.

Christians have a number of beliefs that defy all logic...

The correctness of the information in the Bible is of central importance to Christian faith. One reason it is often said to be factual is because it is the Word of God, and, therefore, must be true. Also, Christian scholars point out that the Bible portrays many factual historical events, and, therefore, the religious aspects of those events must truly have happened as well.

God is said to have written the Bible through the hands of others. Their names are recorded as the authors of the text. No one ever thinks to wonder why it is that we trust these men to tell the truth...that they were really communicated to by God. Human history is full of people who have claimed to speak to God but have been proven to be fakes. In this case, we are not only taking the authors' word for it, but also the word of the translators and librarians of the early Catholic church. The earliest manuscripts of the books of the Bible are dated at around 400 AD, which leaves over 300 years for falsifications to have occurred. Yes, this date is subject to debate, but Sir Frederic G. Kenyon, formerly Director and Principal Librarian of the British Museum, summarized the evidence for the validity of the new Testament as follows:

"In no other case is the interval of time between the composition of the book and the date of the earliest extant [presently existing] manuscripts so short as in that of the New Testament. The books of the New Testament were written in the latter part of the first century; the earliest extant manuscripts (trifling scraps excepted) are of the fourth century -- say, from 250 to 300 years later."

I found that quote on a Christian's page, by the way. If you want me to believe that a guy was really God and that he "died for my sins" (whatever that means) and rose from the dead, I want the paper that came out the next day; I want a sworn statement from at least 3 witnesses IN WRITING; I want some pictures, damn it! Seriously: if I am expected to believe that a miracle happened, then it must be more irrational to deny the evidence than it is to deny the miracle. Christianity has never come close to meeting this criteria.

Furthermore, assuming that these men are really reporting the Word of God, how do we know that God is telling the truth? The only real reason to believe it is because you believe the people who told it to you, and they believed the people who told it to them, and so forth.

The historical content of the Bible is well established. What is not well established are the magical events that take place in the context of those historical events. For instance, the Jews supposedly blew a magical horn which brought down the walls of Jericho. Some people have said that this is proof to the validity of the Bible because archeologists have shown that the city was destroyed at about the time the Bible indicates. No one said, however, that the Jews destroyed the city via a magical musical instrument; this part is clearly myth.

To put you in proper perspective, let's consider classical mythology. In particular, the Trojan war. In classical mythology, the war is over a woman, Helen of Troy, and several gods and goddesses aid the soldiers in battle. It is well established that there was a Trojan War. Does that mean that it was fought solely over a woman or that dieties aided the living in the battle? Of course not. To say that it did would make you suitable for committal. Imagine, you are in high school English class and Mrs. Whatsername has just had you read the Iliad. Karl Inbred comes in and says, "Gee whiz, I sure didn't know that there were all sorts of gods and goddesses that will help good old boys like me in a war! I think I'll go join the army now!" You'd laugh at him. Let's say the president just read the Iliad and comes on the TV saying, "I am sure our soldiers will be just fine in the upcoming battle because Apollo will make their aim true and Athena will give them expert strategical advice." The guy would be removed from office for his mental disturbance.

The only real reasons to believe in the validity of the Bible are faith and protection of one's subjective reality. Faith is really a matter of wanting to believe something because it is comforting for you on some level. We are scared of death, for instance. Christianity saves us the discomfort of being dead. Christians are typically so invested in their beliefs that to denounce them would be to topple their entire world and destroy the complex rationalizations they have for many of their actions and their explanation for why they are "good people."

Another great logical mistake Christians make is to believe that Christianity is correct because their conscience says that Christian values are right. Your conscience is a side effect of your early phenomenal experience. It is your most deeply internalized values. It does not come from some mystical source, but from your parents, teachers, and society at large. You could easily have been taught different things and then your conscience would say that those things were right. Contrast, for instance, Mangaia (southernmost of the Polynesian Cook Island chain) with certain Irish islands. The Catholics think sex is wrong (of course it is!) and the Mangaians think it is wonderful (of course it is!).

Yet another brain foible of Christians is that you don't have to believe everything in the Bible to be a "good Christian." This is dead wrong. The Bible is clear about women, sex, homosexuality, and slavery. If you are female, if you like sex, if you are gay, lesbian or bisexual, if you are the descendant of slaves (and feel slavery is wrong), you have no business being a Christian. I'll explain later.

LEVITICUS 25:44-46

As for your male and female slaves whom you may have; you may buy male and female slaves from among the nations that are round you. You may also buy from among the strangers who sojourn with you and their families that are with you, who have been born in your land; and they may be your property. You may bequeath them to your sons and after you, to inherit as a possession forever; you may make slaves of them, but over your brethren the people of Israel you shall not rule, one over the other, with harshness.

Consider what Harry Koulountis, an agnostic white South African, recently wrote in an e-mail to Scott's website:

I'm a South African and I come from a town call Vereenining. (it's near Johannesburg).

Apartheid was a fine example of where Christiantiy screwed up. It supported Apartheid. We were taught at school to believe in god. The last couple of my school years I refused to do Bible Education.(I can't see how Bible and Education can be put in the same sentence)

During the Apartheid era, we were taught that homosexualiy was sick, men were above women, blacks were our servants and all sorts of shit.(You know what I'm talking about).We had this crap shoved down our throats from the first day we started school. I used to believe in the Bible, until I started seeing contradictions and lies. And the whole idea of a god seems false. I am one of the few agnostics in this country where there are so many Christians.

The Religious Conversion of African Slaves

When Africa slaves were brought to the United States, they were already broken and cut off from their culture. Each tribe had its own language and religion (pagan), but both were lost in the process of bringing them here. The white Christians who brought them here thought them stupid and evil because they didn't speak English and they practiced "evil" pagan religions. The masters moved to indoctrinate the slaves into Christianity as soon as possible. In fact, the opportunity for conversion was one of the justifications for slavery; these "evil heathens" could be converted thus saving their souls even if their physical bodies were enslaved.

If you are convinced that the reason why Africans were made slaves was solely because of color, consider historian W. O. Blake's commentary on the 1857 Slave Code of Virginia: "Slaves were forbidden to lift a hand against a Christian, even in self defense...Anyone could be a slave, whether converted to Christianity or not, provided they were not of Christian parentage or country."

Methodist and Baptist proselytizing efforts were most effective as these denominations most readily appeal to those most downtrodden by emphasizing parts of the Bible that say "the meek will inherit the earth." It allowed the slaves a great deal of comfort in their suffering. As long as they loved Jesus, they thought, eventually their white persecutors would be destroyed by fire and brimstone and they would inherit the Kingdom of God, for those who suffer are the good and deserving.

After slavery was abolished, the church continued to be a source of hope for African-Americans and a prime source of social cohesion. They turned their backs entirely on their pagan heritage, trying to be the best Christians they could, saying that the white man deserved to go to hell because it was he who was the devil, not the man from Africa. In truth, however, they had entirely sold out the most fundamental and important part of their culture and instead embraced the one thing that had truly defeated them. It is one thing to submit to your enemy's chains and whips, but to become your enemy is much different.

It is my firm belief that the only way that Africa-Americans can truly regain their stolen heritage is by first rejecting Christianity once and for always and then looking to the paganism of Africa for the real answers to what it is to be strong, free and black.

And here's a case in point of an African-American who has taken on the visage of his former masters:

From: Donavan Jerrell Manchester (dmanche@tiger.lsu.edu)

I am sorry that you hate Christians so much. I am grateful that I don't share that type of feeling toward my various of friends. Yes, there have been many problems within the Christian community, but I hope you could come to terms as I have with many so-called Christians. It is easy for me to blame white America for the injustice to African-American, but I have forgiven those white Americans for not defending blacks who were nothing but cattles or in better perspective property in America. It was very difficult to forgive the majority of America because of their Jim Crow laws which permeated in the south until the late 1960's. But I have to thank Jesus Christ forgiving me the heart of love for those who have brought destruction to my people. I know that this will never change your mind about TRUE christians. But I do you love you even thought I have never met you. Yes, it is very difficult to understand in the greedy, me world that there are people who are not out for themselves, but out for others. I would like to be a servant to humanity!! Thank you for allowing me to write you. Yes, I am an African-American Christian who is a student at Louisiana State University trying to bring peace and love to all in a horrible world!

Love

in Christ, Donavan

For a good source on early African-American Christianity, try reading: The Negro Church in America by E. Franklin Frazier bound with
The Black Church Since Frazier by C. Eric Lincoln (New York: Schocken Books, 1974).

God doesn't like gay people... Isn't God mean?

Leviticus 20:13

If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood [shall be] upon them.

Romans 1:26, 27, where Paul indicates that the laws against homosexuality apply to lesbians, too:

For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature:

And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet.

These are just two of the statements in the Bible that point to that fact that you must ignore great amounts of Christian text and theology in order to be a gay man or a lesbian and also a Christian. The fundamental theological concept here is that to be sexually involved with another person, the purpose must be holy (i.e., procreative) and not lustful (i.e., for fun). Gay or lesbian sex is never procreative. My advice to those of you who enjoy touching another person's body and would like to do it again in the future, free of guilt, is to change religions to one that embraces your sexuality whether you are gay, straight, bisexual, transexual, vibrosexual, vegesexual, or whatever.

"If God had a stomach, He would vomit at the sight of these vices." -- Carmen, star of the Trinity Broadcasting Network show "Time 2", comments on homosexuality.

"Our body is the temple of the Holy Ghost. It is not an amusement park" -- some old guy on the same show as the above quote. Here's how to stop being gay.

Here are the 14 steps of Homosexuals Anonymous.

Jesus Hates Stupid Homosexuals Like You: A supposedly humorous take on this theme.

Anti-Semitic

Christians murdered Jews during the Inquisition just as they murdered pagans.

The Bible was used to justify the murder of the Jews in Nazi Germany.

Don't say that it was just the Catholics who were anti-Semetic, so are the Lutherans:

"What then shall we Christians do with this damned, rejected race of Jews? First, their synagogues or churches should be set on fire ... Secondly, their homes should likewise be broken down and destroyed ... They ought to be put under one roof or in a stable, like gypsies. Thirdly, they should be deprived of their prayer-books and Talmuds in which such idolatry, lies, cursing, and blasphemy are taught. Fourthly, their rabbis must be forbidden under threat of death to teach any more ... Fifthly, passport and traveling privileges should be absolutely forbidden to the Jews ... Sixthly, they ought to be stopped from usury. All their cash and valuables of silver and gold ought to be taken from the and put aside for safe keeping ... Seventhly, let the young and strong Jews and Jewesses be given the flail, the axe, the hoe, the spade, the distaff, and spindle, and let them earn their bread by the sweat of their noses as is enjoined upon Adam's children ..." -- Martin Luther (1543).

Martin Luther is often considered to be the father of Protestantism. For you particularly stupid Christians, a Protestant is a Christian who is not a Catholic.

Christian anti-Semitism is going on today in mainstream Christianity! A quote from Pat Robertson: "The New Testament reveals that Jews 'both killed the Lord Jesus and their own prophets, and have persecuted us; and they please not God, and are contrary to all men' (1 Thess. 2:15). History records the terrible sufferings the Jewish people have experienced as a result."

Anti-women

Women are portrayed as weak and sinful by the Bible. The "first" woman is created from the rib of Adam so that she will be subservient to him in contrast to Lilith, the real first woman, who refused to lie beneath him because she was his equal. Eve then goes on to commit the original sin and to tempt Adam into it as well. She is punished for this with eternal pain in childbirth for all her kind. Whether you see this as literal or metaphorical is not the point. The most holy woman of the Bible, Mary, is raped by God, and is then happy about it; the book goes on to make every effort to absolve her of any responsibility for the birth. Mary is powerless. She is merely a an orifice for God to be born from.

The Bible says that menstruation makes a woman unclean and that she should not be touched during this time. How can a religion strike more directly at the heart of female-ness? Women are also considered unclean when they give birth: "Speak unto the children of Israel, saying, If a woman have conceived seed, and born a man child; then she shall be unclean seven days; according to the days of the separation for her infirmity shall she be unclean...But if she bear a maid child, then she shall be unclean two weeks, as in her separation; and she shall continue in the blood of her purifying threescore and six days." -- Leviticus 12:2, 5. Feminist authors note that this may be an intentional reversal of the earlier pagan view that menstrual blood was divine; now the blood of Jesus is divine.

Christianity further demonizes women by demonizing one of their unique powers in the world: That is, their sexual power over men. Christianity views sex and lust, in particular, as evil and so demonizes the woman who would be overtly sexual. This causes women to hide their sexuality and be ashamed of it. Feminists authors have suggested that the primary goal of the sexual suppression of Christendom is to limit the power of women over men.

The Bible does not accept the idea of a female leader, except in desperate circumstances. A quote from Rev. R. L. Dabney: "The woman is not designed by God, nor entitled to all the franchises in society to which the male is entitled...God has disqualified her for any such exercise of them as would benefit herself or society, by the endowments of body, mind, and heart he has given her, and the share he has assigned her in the tasks of social existence." A quote from the Bible: "But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God." -- 1 Corinthians 11:3

Child Abuse

Telling a child that if she/he disobeys, he/she will be thrown into a dark, unspeakable place by an imaginary demon is child abuse. So is telling a child that their beloved pets do not get to go to heaven when they die.

Domestic Animal Abuse

Apparently, animals don't go to heaven, even if they are your beloved pets because they don't have souls. This has led to the common perception that animals are not aware enough to be bothered by experimental techniques too horrible for humans. Guess what? All mammals are sentient beings and deserve certain rights as a result.

In a recent discussion of the rescue of a human child by an ape at a zoo, the interviewer asked a scientist if this behavior meant that apes have souls, implying that one cannot be moral without a soul. The media is saturated with this kind of idiocy.

Cats were tortured and murdered alongside witches during the Inquisition. "The cat, which represented the devil, could not suffer enough." (from Barbara G. Walker's The Woman's Book of Myths and Secrets)

Are Christians Really Moral?

The First Point

Imagine two men, we'll call them Chris and Albert. Albert gives a stranger a ride across town just because he feels like it or thinks it is the right thing to do. Chris gives a stranger a ride across town because the stranger has a gun and claims that he will blow Chris's brains out if he does not give the ride. Now, while we cannot say that Albert is a more moral person than Chris, we cannot say that Chris is more moral than Albert, either.

Now, consider this: We can ask Chris what he would have done in Albert's situation. If Chris replies: "Why would I give a ride to some bum unless I had some motivation to do so?" then we can conclude that Albert is more moral than Chris.

If Chris were forever being followed around by a gun-toting maniac who whispered in his ear exactly what he must do to avoid death, then Chris would forever be in a state of amorality. That is, nothing he did would ever have anything to do with his personal morality, unless he actually went against the gun-toting maniac in order to follow his own will.

Imagine two women, Christy and Alicia. Christy is approached by Donald Trump on the street who tells her: "Look, see that old woman over there? I will pay you $1000 if you will go help her cross the street." In the meantime, Alicia (on another street corner somewhere else) sees an old woman about to cross the street who looks like she needs help and helps the woman.

Who is more moral? We don't know. But if Christy says, "I would never have even considered helping that old woman if it hadn't been for the bribe I was given to do it," then we know that Alicia is the better person.

A Christian goes through his/her entire life believing that God is keeping track of their good and bad actions, and even thoughts, so that when they die, he can either throw them into a lake of fire (the Big Punishment) or give them the Big Reward. Every action they take is as if a gun-toting maniac and a rich capitalist were manipulating them.

Nothing they do can truly be "moral" and nothing can, according to what they believe to be real, be "immoral." They are existing simply to avoid the Big Punishment and win the Big Reward. The only way they could truly be moral is if God "told them" to do something wrong and they disobeyed, thus losing the Big Reward and making themselves deserving of the Big Punishment. Ironically, if everything they believed to be moral truly were moral, then they could never truly prove that they were moral! (Isn't this fun?)

Furthermore, if anyone goes around behaving a certain way simply because some guy in a pulpit told them to do it, they are not moral: they are simply an extremely effective comformist. Morality requires that you know why you do something. Saying "that's what God says I should do" will not cut it, since in truth, God never told you anything. The Bible was written by people. The people who interpret it are people. That brings us to...

The Second Point

Every Christian on Earth seems to think that atheists and pagans and what-not have a completely subjective morality; that is, we can make up whatever we want to be right and wrong, and if the whim hits us, we can change our morality at will. To clarify this briefly: an atheist who has not thought through his/her moral values may have a completely subjective morality and may be able to change their stripes at any time. However, any atheist who has thought things over to any degree does have a relatively objective morality which cannot be changed at will. Pagans have very explicit ethical codes, and thus their morality is not subjective at all (unless they're some sort of self-styled, unofficial kind of pagan).

(Atheists who have only recently rejected Christianity may indeed have a subjective morality, but I blame that on Christianity rather than atheism. Christianity teaches that there is no morality independent of the god, so when one rejects the existence of that god, previous training in Christian thought might convince the person that they have no moral code to live up to anymore. If Christians had been teaching real morality in the first place rather than a morality based on an imaginary being, this would not be a problem.) Now that it is clear that Christians can't ever prove that they are acting out of good morals rather than out of selfish motivation and that atheists and pagans are, for the most part, possessors of stable, objective moral values, what is it about Christianity that could possibly make its moral values better?

Christians have this book they call "the Bible" and this book supposedly has all the moral values carefully spelled out. Of course, all non-Christians reading this know that using the Bible as one's source of moral guidance makes your morals completely subjective.

The Bible is such a poorly written, culturally relevant, historically bound collection of metaphorical stories that it has to be interpreted. Interpretation involves several steps:

Identify passages that say things consistent with what you think the Bible should say. For instance, if you want Jesus to rise from the dead, find a passage that says he did so; if you believe murder is wrong, find a passage that says so; if you believe it is OK to engage in bloody vengeance against your enemies, find a passage that says to do this.
Develop a clear idea of the intentions and character of all of the key figures in the Bible, including God and Jesus, based on the passages you liked.
Based on the good passages and your derived intentions and character, fill in any missing parts of the stories that are contained there and any missing parts of the metaphysical mechanisms described there.
Use the above as evidence that the passages you did not like are not good passages and should be ignored. Also use the above to twist any ambiguous passages to fit the meaning that you think they should have.
Finally, fit any remaining passages into the well-accepted scientific thought of your day. Dismiss any passages that clearly go against firmly established scientific fact as being too metaphorical or culturally bound for you to take them seriously. For those passages that you like but also go against science, be creative, but don't admit that the Bible is hogwash. For instance, claim that God created science and so scientists can be judged on how well their results reflect the content of the Bible; claim that Satan is intentionally leading scientists astray.
Once your interpretation is done, start your own sect of Christianity. Claim that any groups that go against your major metaphysical points are going to hell. Use the wide acceptance of the smaller points of your interpretation as proof that you did your interpretting correctly.

Jim Hill and Rand Cheadle have written an excellent book called The Bible Tells Me So: Uses and Abuses of Holy Scripture (New York: Doubleday. 1996) where they review some issues in which the Bible has been used to support both sides of the argument. Here is a list of things which can be supported depending on how you interpret the Bible:

Slavery
The abolishment of slavery
Racism
Racial tolerance
Persecution of Jews
Being nice to the Jews
Keeping women in their place
Supporting the liberation of women
Providing sanctuary for political refugees
Ill treatment of foreigners
Killing witches
Employing witches
Marriage
Lifelong celebacy
Drinking alcohol
Abstaining from alcohol
Being good to your neighbor
Killing your neighbor
Not coveting your neighbor's wife
Killing your neighbor so you can have his wife
Justifying hatred of homosexuals
Providing acceptance of homosexuals
Persecution of Catholics
Support of Catholicism
Opposing medical science
Embracing medical science
Opposing war
Justifying war
Exploiting the environment
Saving the environment
Pro-Abortion
Anti-Choice

Because Christians can support any of these actions with the same book, I have to conclude that their morality is completely subjective.

In Conclusion

Atheists and pagans are the moral superiors of Christians if they have given any thought to what their values are.

note on the unfortunate style of argumentation employed here: The style of argumentation employed here is certainly not standard and is not really helpful for an actual debate of any kind, but I will now try to explain why things turned out this way and why I think it is necessary to argue this way. In a normal debate, there are certain assumptions that everyone agrees on before the debate begins. For instance, in a formal debate on the effects of pornography on its consumers, the two sides might agree that pornography is material that contains photos of person's bare genitals or breasts. After agreeing, they could then argue about whether or not this material was harmful in a rational way. Unfortunately, we are not dealing with an area where there are any agreed apon assumptions. Some of the people involved in the debate assume there is a God and that the choices are God or no God. We can't even agree on what a Christian is! As a result, the writers of these pages have been placed in the unfortunate position of being forced to argue the foulness of Christianity given a wide variety of assumptions. For instance, we do not believe in God, but we are often forced to illustrate how "God is evil" as if the entity exists, as if we really believe it does, because we are basing this argument on assumptions that we do not believe in. In this particular example, the conclusion of our argument is that one should like Lucifer better than Yahweh, but keep in mind that we are accepting assumptions that we do not agree with. Our real point is that the whole metaphysical system is absurd. If you miss the subtleties in the argument, this will not be clear. I feel this is the necessary result when there are no assumptions that anyone will agree on. This is the very reason why I have defined "Christian". Once again, I must stress that we are not here to provide a logical argument in the first place or to provide a "convincing" argument against being a Christian, but rather to express our distaste for the way that Christians affect our lives

Hope you enjoyed that :)

EDIT: goddamnit, Livejournal always fucks up my text editing...oh well, I'm lazy

so uh

Sun, 15 May 2005 06:03:33 GMT

House of Wax was a pretty decent movie. Good killing. Tonight was fun but I'm fucking confused as all hell. Well I was until I thought about alot of shit.

wanna see what I look like on the inside right now?

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5ku4.o;kl8;414I8L1JK3G4JK8,GH3K4L1GJK4L34GHIL8G4HFKL13LFweFEasd687WEty06jyER8TJ7K8Y6J408tyus0trj7ytj7tws08UO7RYD6JST8H7A8R7E+HA7TJ6AT7+F4DV54dfS7F454dvg4D7Fa4sf4F4fD4asdf7sdgSDFsdf4T+7w4/+t*
FT/+34g78ghigh8T8g8788979G7887G87g88878F5D5DCasf4F54fCTE/454F54c5ASC

Tue, 10 May 2005 19:56:59 GMT

I had nothing to do today so I made a mix cd with abunch of postmodern bands/songs and put it online, you can download it here:

http://s23.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=0HFPF83GTZZLP1PXLCBESZRCKN

Oldnewtype's Postmodern Compilation Vol. 1:

Aphex Twin - Jynweythek Ylow
These Arms Are Snakes - Drinking from the Necks of the Ones You Love
Aphex Twin - Lornaderek
At The Drive-In - Enfilade
Omar Rodriguez-Lopez - Here The Tame Go By
The Sound Of Animals Fighting - All is Ash (Or The Light Shining Through It)
The Fall Of Troy - Rockstar Nailbomb!
Dillinger Escape Plan - When Good Dogs Do Bad Things
The Great Redneck Hope - Whoa, Frankenstein! I Didn't Program You To Make Out With Boys!
Horse The Band - Purple
Team Sleep - Paris Arm
Aphex Twin - QKThr
Nine Inch Nails - With Teeth
At The Drive-In - Ursa Minor
The Fall Of Troy - Tom Waits
The Great Redneck Hope - Let's Fall In Love Over Aim So We Can Fuck When We Meet At Cornerstone
Sigur Ros - Mistur
Team Sleep - Ever Since WW1
The Mars Volta - Tira Me A Las Arans
The Mars Volta - Drunkship Of Lanterns
The Great Redneck Hope - My Other Car Is A Centaur
Fear Before The March Of Flames - Go Wash Your Mouth...I Don't Know Where It's Been
The Great Redneck Hope - You're Fired, You're Fired, You're Fired. Goddamn It, I'm Spike Lee
Converge - Heaven In Her Arms

Theres Alot of different kinds of music in here, I think some of you will really like this. I also think some of you will probably hate it, but the most important thing is that its a free cd (AND ONE WITH DAMN GOOD MUSIC TOO!!). It flows between songs really well too. Listen to this cd all the way through (don't skip around), three times, and I can almost promise you you'll end up with a handful of new favorite bands. Especially you, Matt.

And I mean 3 times, no fewer or it won't work.

Fri, 06 May 2005 06:41:14 GMT

OH MY GOD IM SO FUCKING EXCITED SCHOOL IS OVER!!!!

Goddamn, I'm a pissed off prick

Fri, 29 Apr 2005 06:25:25 GMT

a few pictures...

Wed, 27 Apr 2005 12:39:11 GMT

the new Weezer is fucking great
the new Nine Inch Nails is fucking great
the new Team Sleep is fucking great
I'm even surprised by the new Limp Bizkit
good mood :)

I'm gonna be here at my moms for a couple days, give me a call if you wanna do something

Don't You Fucking Know What You Are?

Sat, 02 Apr 2005 09:41:33 GMT

So it's been quite sometime since I made a serious, intelligent update as to what's been going on in my life. Regardless of the constant reminder that no one really cares, on the inside I feel responsible to let a few of you know I'm alive. I've been living at my Dad's. I got what I wanted and lost what I had, but thats how things go. Just another lifestyle I've traded. Music is just as much a centerpiece as it has ever been, but now its composing an even more surreal approach to the rapture than originally intended (By me, at least). Anyone who wants to jam please let me know, just stop by my house when you get a chance. No clue how much it would be appreciated. I'll be working at Acme in May, and at the end of this month I'll be working Jazzfest. Then I can finally get out of Louisiana for a little while, I need to get to a safepoint soon or I'm going to lose it. BTW I'm having a party next Saturday at my Dad's (Strawberry Festival). I'm tired of typing at this point, so I'll just sum it up with this: Yeah, I'm real stressed right now. Yes, I am going through alot of shit. That house is pushing me, none of you have any idea what its like to be alone in there.

check out this baddass picture

Sat, 02 Apr 2005 02:27:52 GMT

Now I need Mars Volta tickets. The difference this time is that I know some of you have tickets. If you don't want to part with them, thats cool, but I'll make it worth it to anyone who can help. I'm willing to pay $50 for a ticket with favors on top of that ;).

Love you all

Fri, 04 Mar 2005 20:30:31 GMT

I'm in the position to do absolutely anything to go see Nine Inch Nails. All I need is a ride. If you need anyone killed, if you need your dick sucked, if you need your house cleaned or your homework done or your grandma washed, I WILL DO ANYTHING. THIS IS NOT A JOKE. SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME.